While it’s pegged as the “most wonderful time of the year,” the holiday season can actually be a
real difficult one for a lot of people. While some are celebrating the season with yummy,
seasonal foods, others are caught in this all-consuming mentality about what they should or
shouldn’t be eating. While people are enjoying quality time with their families and friends, others
are anxious about the unsolicited comments they might get about their body or what they’re
eating. And while some are thriving in this time of cheer and joy, others can’t stop thinking about
the food or their body. A lot of these tough moments can come up during all the holiday parties
we might attend around this time a year. In a dream world, the holidays would be perfect for all
and not come with any of those negative side effects. Until then, there are some ways we can
ease these pain points so you not only enjoy the fun holiday parties, but the season itself.
The Food
A lot of people experience a mix of emotions when it comes to the food around this time of year.
On one hand there’s LOTS of yummy, specialty things we eat and on the other hand, those
foods are often considered “bad,” “unhealthy,” or a “special treat” which leads to feelings of
shame and guilt for eating them. This season is not meant to cause more stress and anxiety
focused on what you’re eating! There’s a few tips for handling the food component of the holiday
party:
Tune into and honor your hunger cues
● Your body is very smart, and it makes all attempts possible to let you know that it’*s time
to eat. Hunger isn’t just coming from a loud, grumbling stomach. If you haven’t eaten in a
while, your body is going to signal that you need to eat and you may experience other
signs of hunger such as fatigue, headache, difficulty concentrating, thinking about food,
and more. Ignoring these cues is far more harmful than you might realize so it’s best to
be aware of them and honor them as they come.
● Honoring your hunger cues sounds like it’s fairly straightforward, however, if you’ve been
ignoring them for years, it can take some time to get to a place where you can fully
honor them. One way you can begin to honor those cues is to remove all mental
restriction. Mental restriction is the endless chatter and talk in your mind that
encourages feelings of guilt and shame around what you’re eating. So while you aren’t
physically restricting the thing you’re eating, you’re mentally creating food rules around it
that lead to shame and guilt. Mental restriction doesn’t serve you in any positive way, so
shut it down and reclaim those thoughts!
● Another way to begin honoring those hunger cues is to give yourself unconditional
permission around food. Diet culture has done an impeccable job of creating labels for
foods, rules around what and how much to eat, and just straight sucking the joy out of
food. Remind yourself that you’re allowed to eat however much of any food you want,
always. No permission needed.
Remove the guilt
● I’m going to say it again; this one is also on diet culture. The labels and the rules around
food that diet culture makes ends up creating feelings of guilt and shame when we “go
against” diet culture’s rules. But I promise you that most of your struggles with food and
holiday eating would go away if you just stopped feeling guilty for eating what you eat.
It’s not your fault that you feel guilty for eating foods that society labels as “bad”. Yet all
the guilt does is reinforce the idea that these foods are off-limits. If we continue leaning
into those feelings of guilt and shame when we eat those foods, you place them on a
pedestal. The next time you do eat them, your guilt will likely be even worse than before
and may multiply into feelings of shame.
● Removing this guilt can take time because it’s been so ingrained in us for decades. First
thing you can do is identify your food rules. Take some time to identify the self-imposed
conditions surrounding food and/or eating. They usually contain the words “can” or
“should”.
● Once you identify what these food rules are, you can challenge them! Rewrite them to
neutralize their tone, remove those “can” or “shoulds.” You can then start living those re-
written “rules.” Eat after 9 pm, have the pasta, eat more than a serving if still hungry. It’s
important to remember that this is a process that takes time. Don’t worry if you still have
some residual feelings of guilt. Over time they will fade!
The Conversations
The holiday season often comes with spending a lot of extra time with friends and family. A lot
of people LOVE this part of the season but so many others suffer in silence as they dread
seeing family or friends that have no filter. Conversations involving diet talk are very likely to
happen at a holiday gathering. While Grandma, your Aunt or whomever doesn’t usually mean
harm when they give those unsolicited comments about your body or what’s on your plate, it is
so damaging and harmful to us in an already harmful and damaging diet-culture-driven world. If
you find yourself in conversations with comments like this or with diet talk in general, here’s a
few things you can do:
● Set boundaries: Communicate your desire to refrain from diet or body talk to loved
ones and friends. This includes any comments they might make about what’s on your
plate or your body.
● Give gentle reminders: Kindly remind them that these kinds of comments or topics can
be triggering to people. The Holidays are meant to be a positive time and space for
everyone!
● Change the subject: Switch the conversation to any other topic like their work, family,
travel plans, etc. The less attention to these toxic subjects the better, no need to
continue feeding into it.
● Step away: Respectfully leave this conversation if you find any of it triggering. You can
say you have to grab something or use the bathroom if that’s more comfortable for you!
You don’t have to subject yourself to these toxic topics and comments. Especially in a
time of year that’s supposed to be about peace and joy, you deserve to experience
exactly that.
I also want to take this moment to emphasize that it is NEVER okay to comment on someone’s
body, regardless of your intention. As a society, we spend far too much time tying someone’s
value to their body shape and size. This can end with us. It is never warranted to say “oh you
look so skinny” or “have you lost weight,” or even go the opposite way and express concern
over someone based on their weight. We are more than our size! Plus, you never know what
someone is going through. Complimenting their weight loss might be complimenting their
chronic disease or severe depression. Go for non-body based compliments like “I love your
energy,” “you light up a room,” and so on. These have far more meaning and are a bigger
testament to a person anyways.
The Focus
Cultivating a relationship with food that feels comfortable and peaceful is not black and white or
a linear process, especially this time of year. We’re surrounded by so much food and
conversation that it can be overwhelming and intimidating to remove the guilt around food and
avoid the conversations that might be triggering. However, the Holidays are a perfect time to
practice shifting the focus away from food. It’s a time of gratitude and cherishing time with family
and friends. It’s about tradition, love, celebration, and life. Think about the holidays you
celebrate and why you celebrate them. Is it for religious purposes? Is it to honor historical
figures or spiritual teachers? Lean into what the holidays are ACTUALLY about. When you stop
focusing all your energy everyday on food, you can finally live your life to its fullest.
You deserve to enjoy the Holidays and all the wonderful food that comes with them without
being stressed or overwhelmed about what you eat. To help our clients and followers have a
peaceful and stress-free Holiday season, we’ve developed a 5-step guide that includes lots of
great exercises so you can be fully present at the dinner table this Holiday season. You can
download your FREE holiday guide here. We wish you the most peaceful and joyful holiday season!
